captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

(Source: faithlehaane)

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awkwardvagina:

so me and my dad are watching a documentary about a man that killed his children and the presenter turned to the camera and said ‘how could anyone ever think about killing their child’ and my dad sat there looking straight at the tv and said ‘trust me its not difficult’ he then looked at me and sighed

(Source: awkwardvagina)

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coagulates:

the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality 

(Source: slimeeeman)

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